Would it really be asking too much that an article about music is written by someone who has a vague clue about music? 'Jig-like' is not a synonym for 'fast'. It's a kind of dance, with a fixed time signature and fixed (ish) structure. And being slow is a common feature of 'Funereal' music but playing 'Who Let The Dogs Out' slowly doesn't make it suitable for your granny's send-off. Probably.

/pedant

Mine's the black tuxedo.

You know, there could be a really good game in there - if you could bring in different sections at different times, and kinda 'jam' an orchestra?!? Actually it'll probably be a pile of garbage :)

Make mine Brahms' 4th Symphony. The power, the power!!

You mean the software developers at the bank get to make Wii games? How do I apply? At least if the bank goes under from bad debts there may still be a games studio that would hire you. Then again, they probably contracted it out

Make mine the Mahler Symphony of a Thousand, thanks (and a thousand thanks to UBS).

mine's the tails - ta

Wasn't a virtual orchestra one of the Wii tech demos at E3 back in 2006?

Except there isn't much of a correlation between arm activity and tempo, or even orchestra activity. An orchestra could be going hell-for-leather through a piece and the conductor nary makes a movement. And sometimes the opposite applies. As a rule of thumb, the less arm-waiving a conductor does, the better they are, and the better their relationship with the orchestra. And again, the opposite applies.

Yes, there's a market. Who hasn't dreamed of conducting John William's 'Imperial March' from The Empire Strikes Back? Or Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries?

On the other hand, could banks please stop just inventing ways of spending our money? Maybe they made too much profit, and had already bought enough islands / bizjets / hookers / small Carribean nations and needed something new to do?

I have friends who work in banks, and look at me in amazement saying "What? Your workplace doesn't provide free childcare? Free lunches? Office entertainment on Friday arvos? Free umbrellas everytime it rains? Parking for every staff member? Subsidized public transport fares? How primitive!"

From the sounds of things, this is about as good an implementation as the various sport simulations of the C64 era... Jiggle the joystick faster to make the guy go faster, or slower to make him slow down.

Now if it was actually somewhat more realistic, and let you gesture to different groups of the orchestra, etc, then it could be an addictive game. Especially if it started rating you on the music it produced, keeping records of ratings, etc.

They recorded three pieces ... and you tell us two of them.

Do I need to lodge a FOI to find out what the third one is?

This sounds about as interesting as having my toenails ritually removed with a pair of pliers while dipping the bleeding toes into a large bucket of salt.

Honestly, talk about gameplay, this sounds like it is completely lacking - just wave your arm around in the air and the music might have some sort of loose relationship to the speed which you wave at. The movement detection of the controllers doesn't work well with fast movements, so it'd probably be quite a random result.

I think this will definitely make the top ten list of "Games that make you look like a twat when you play", along with dance mats, eyetoy camera games and a few others.

The average age of a Wii owner is 9!

"This sounds about as interesting as having my toenails ritually removed with a pair of pliers while dipping the bleeding toes into a large bucket of salt."

I've got that game. I've got the high score. Wii Ritually Remove Andy Worth's Toenails With A Pair Of Pliers is the best use of the Remote since Wii Translate AmanfromMars' Posts Into English.

... in Zeitgeist, I think

"I think this will definitely make the top ten list of "Games that make you look like a twat when you play"

It's on the Wii - that goes without saying.

Someone's been reading a bit of Roald Dahl, methinks .....

How long before we get orchestras of robots equipped with real instruments, controllable by MIDI files?

Mad Maestro was a budget ($20 US) title on the PS2 here. Used the button sensitivity to determine how hard you were signaling and the rest was tempo and bringing in and out parts of the "orchestra".